Mako Jako's Potluck Journal

another fic, which no one is probably reading shrugs

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 06:46:55 GMT

thought i'd post it anyway as i think it's probably one of the best one's ive ever written. and it's only like 500 something words.

Title: Look to the Heavens
Author: JBLovesSharks
Fandom: House, MD
Rating: K+
Pairings: M/F - You decided who
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, the premise or pretty much anything honestly. *is poor* I did come up with the plot but it’s probably been done before anyway.
Summary: How can you sit there, watching her talk, when you know the conversation she’s having is with a child that doesn’t exist.
Authors Note: I wrote this with a particular pairing in mind. I’d love to see who you guys think it could or should be. If I get enough interest I might even turn this into a series.

*****

You’re watching her gesture enthusiastically along with her speech; her facial expressions exaggerated, pronounced. She’s brought the book: the one the therapist had asked you early on to purchase for her.

It was a simple instruction, yet it took you six weeks to step into the bookstore. It was another two weeks before you were even able to enter the children’s section. If not for the look on her face that morning as she happily made Jamie a sandwich, it would have taken you another week to finally bring your selection to the register.

The Big Orange Splot. You had recalled her once telling you, back when you were both doctors, that it had been her favorite book as a child. You didn’t know if this would be good for her or whether it would trigger another flare up. You purchased it anyway and hoped for the best.

You’ve been doing that a lot lately. Hoping. Praying. Every night when you lay down to sleep you wonder if in the morning you’ll wake up to find out that Jamie had slept in your bed. The expression on her face as you try to guess the reason he had joined the two of you this time makes you want to look up at the Heavens and cry.

It’s been years since you’ve cried for yourself.

It isn’t about you and it never had been. Years of therapy and countless hours spent in online support groups have given you this knowledge. It’s also given you the strength to keep going; to be there for her even when you’ve reached your breaking point.

This is her journey into madness.

The word “Schizophrenia” had always been one of the disorders you’d shelved to the back of your memory once you’d left med school. Now you’re confident you could recite the DSM-IV TR’s diagnostic criteria verbatim.

You’re now watching her smile and grab onto air as she stands. She had decided to bring Jamie into the appointment with her today. You only nodded at this as you helped her buckle an empty backseat. You’ve grown uncomfortably used to holding his hand while you wait for her to re-emerge from her sessions. You’re not sure what to do with your free hand now.

Soon you’re watching her exit the office, book in one hand, the other wrapped around her four year old son. She gives you a hug and a kiss and starts telling you how well Jamie had behaved himself. You find yourself smiling and giving the air an affectionate pat on the head.

It’s been a long time since you’ve cried for yourself.

It hasn’t been long enough since you’ve cried for her.

Quack Diddely Oh Se Doe - 2/?

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:05:12 GMT

Title: Quack Diddely Oh-Se-Doe
Chapter: Two - Double Mint Duck
Author: JBLovesSharks aka Mako Jako
Fandom: House, MD
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Rating: M
Warnings: Mentions of child abuse (may be explicit), language, sexual situations.
Pairings: House/Cameron
Disclaimer: Alright, you got me. I do own House. I also own the CN Tower and the Sabres NHL team. ::rolls eyes:: Joking, of course. I own nothing!
Summary: My delve into Cameron's history. Can House help her cope, heal, deal and thrive when individuals from her past start showing up.
Authors Note: This story takes place somewhere in Season 2. Post hunting, but pre FWB with Chase. House and Cam are an established couple, but only just recently. Kinks still exist. Secrets have yet to be divulged between them. They are open about their relationship but keep it as 'out of work' as they can manage.

*****

Chapter 2 - Double Mint Duck
House stood patiently outside Exam Room 4, clipboard in one hand, his cane in the other. He would have entered the room by now to inspect this doppleganger but Cameron's death-grip on the back of his sports jacket kept him immobile. "You know, the irony of you trying to keep me OUT of visiting a patient is not lost on me, but seriously, how awkward is it going to be when she gets impatient and peeks her head out only to find you cowering behind a sexy cripple?"

"I'm not cowering." She gritted through her clenched teeth, her cheeks even redder than earlier. After a few moments of being drilled into by House's 'you're BSing' stare, she loosened up a little and took a few deep breaths. "Okay, I'm ready. Oh wait! Please don't leave me in there alone with her, okay?"

House gave her a quick reassuring look before replacing it with his usual miserable scowl. He may have started to soften on the inside, but that didn't mean he wanted the rest of the hospital to stop hating him. He wouldn't be able to get away with half as much of his crap if others thought they could schmooze him into compliance. He was pretty certain he could resist anyone other than Cameron when it came to such tactics, but he didn't want to take the risk just the same.

A few more moments ticked by before House pushed open the door to the exam room and entered, Cameron tailing him but keeping her eyes on the nape of her boss's neck in avoidance. "So, Miss Cameron-Not Cameron, what can the renowned Doctor House do for you this fine, uh.." He checked his watch, "afternoon?" In the seconds between entering and interacting he had run his eyes thoroughly over this potentially future relative. She was clearly related to his Cameron, what with the same features, posture and size. Minus the baby pouch of course. The only feature that would separate them to the unfamiliar eye on first inspection would be their different hair styles. Clearly the Cameron's really were natural blondes. He made a mental note to ask Cameron about her decision to go Loreal Color Paris later.

"Excuse me?" The woman blinked in confusion at the introduction. "The name's Kathryn Haught and - " She trailed off as her eyes caught the site standing behind House. "You!?" Kathryn slid awkwardly off the exam table and took a step towards the doctors. House had braced himself for sudden impact and so was shocked when he heard the next words out the woman's mouth. "If I had known you worked here Sonny, I'd have been coming here from the start! I usually go to Princeton General but they sent me here on account of some contagious thing or other floating around their clinic. But anyway, wow! How are you??" House didn't have time to ask who 'Sonny' was when he felt himself being pushed to the side. If not for his bum leg he would have stayed his ground protectively. As it were, he now found himself bracing the counter with the hand that had previously been holding the chart.

Cameron stiffened as her heavily pregnant sister wrapped her arms around her and squeezed more tightly than was necessary even under more jovial circumstances. "Hello Kathryn." She forced a pleasant tone which didn't fool House one bit. It apparently worked on Kathryn as the woman released her twin and stood back to inspect her.

"You always were a twig. I see nothing's changed." Kathryn laughed as she smiled at her sister.

"And you were always easy. So nothing's changed for you either." Cameron shot out, nodding at the woman's swollen stomach.

"Ouch." House inwardly scratched a '1' beneath Cameron's name on his mental scoreboard. Only it appeared that the doctors below the belt comment wasn't unusual; it didn't clear the smile off Kathryn's face one bit. House's mental eraser unhappily removed the point.

"Yeah, well. At least this guy seems serious about staying around. I mean, he's got a great job and has taken so well to the boys." Kathryn climbed back onto the exam room table and looked between House and her sister. "I'm just here for my weekly check-up. I'm not due for another 3 weeks."

Cameron gave House a pleading look but he shook his head and motioned for her to set up the Sonogram equipment. "I can do this." She whispered to herself as she began untangling the machine's wires in order to push it closer to the table. She plastered a controlled smile on her face as she finished plugging the cords in and turned the machine on.

Not missing a beat, Kathryn had settled herself back against the paper covered exam table. At the angle it was set to, she was able to keep her eyes glancing from the two doctors and now the sonogram equipment without straining her neck. Knowing the routine she pulled up the hem of her shirt.
Cameron once more gave House a desperate look but he shook his head more visibly this time. Audibly sighing, she grabbed the gel and squirted it onto her twins bulging stomach. Soon she had the wand in one hand, pressing into and roving over her sisters belly while the other tapped keys on the machine. The silence only lasted the time it took for an image to appear on the screen.
"Oh!! Look at him! Isn't he just adorable?" Kathryn squealed as she watched the monochromatic image pulse and contort as the wand was moved back and forth.

"He has your eyes." House was going for snarky but Kathryn only grinned and nodded. "He's going to be a spitting image of our father, just like my twins." At this Cameron lost her grip on the wand and it slid off the pregnant woman towards the floor. Unfortunately the chord wasn't long enough to prevent contact, and the sound of breaking plastic soon echoed the momentarily silent room.

"Yeah, good thing this equipment isn't expensive or anything." House limped around the side of the bed and lowered himself as far as he could without straining his bad leg. Cameron had fallen to the floor after the wands impact, desperate to pick up the pieces as if the 'five second rule' applied in this situation. She glanced up at House as she felt his presence in front of her. Her eyes were red and cheeks damp. "Please." She mouthed silently, praying to the god she didn't believe in that the third time would be a charm.
House squeezed his lips together and made a familiar sucking noise as he thought. "Alright, Dr. Cameron can you let the nurses know we need another machine in here? Then I really need you to check on the patient in room 2134 (author: i think that's the room coma guy is in). He was whining earlier, saying he'd only let you change his catheter."

Cameron nodded gratefully and tossed the scrap plastic into the bin before turning towards her sister. "Sorry. I've got to go." She didn't even wait for a reply before exiting, her body carrying her purposefully towards the janitors closet once again. Before the door could even click shut behind her, she vomited her lunch into the sink.

To be continued

Fic: Quack Diddely Oh Se Doe - 1/?

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 02:39:18 GMT

So guys, I'm writing again! Please read and comment? I've got 13 chapters of this already written as well as a 9 page 'missing sex scene' that was censored out of chapter 11 because i rather the fic itself not have gooey sex in it *grin*

*****

Title: Quack Diddely Oh-Se-Doe
Author: JBLovesSharks aka Mako Jako
Fandom: </b>House, MD
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Rating: M
Warnings: Mentions of child abuse (may be explicit), language, sexual situations.
Pairings: House/Cameron
Disclaimer: Alright, you got me. I do own House. I also own the CN Tower and the Sabres NHL team. ::rolls eyes:: Joking, of course. I own nothing!
Summary: My delve into Cameron's history. Can House help her cope, heal, deal and thrive when individuals from her past start showing up.
Authors Note: This story takes place somewhere in Season 2. Post hunting, but pre FWB with Chase. House and Cam are an established couple, but only just recently. Kinks still exist. Secrets have yet to be divulged between them. They are open about their relationship but keep it as 'out of work' as they can manage.

*****
Chapter 1 - The Mission
House gimped his way through the lobby of the clinic attached to the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. He was on a mission and nothing was going to deter him from accomplishing it. Not the pain in his leg, not Cuddy's exasperated retorts from her office doorway, not the case-files being pushed at him from nurses who had formed a gauntlet of sorts in front of him. No, that was stretching it too far, but it may as well have seemed like a gauntlet since all of it was keeping him from his destination.

Moments later, having reached the janitorial supply closet in between the bathrooms, House knocked twice before twisting the knob open. Upon entering, he released the breath he hadn't realized he was holding as he viewed Cameron sitting on the floor. She was in one piece: no gushing arteries, no severed appendages, no bucket of vomit situated in front of her. "You want to give me a heart attack?" He hooked his cane onto a metal shelf and attempted to keep at least a little of his coolness factor as he slowly lowered himself to the floor next to his girlfriend. It didn't work, and after Cameron managed to unlock the sudden tightness in his right knee, he was able to continue his descent to the floor with significantly less whining.

"Sorry." Was all she could mumble as she helped him to the cold floor beside her. She picked up the clipboard she'd set aside moments ago and replaced it into the space between her thighs and chest. Hugging her knees as close as she could she rested her cheek on them and peered up at House.

House had intended to lecture the immunologist on when it was and was not okay to page him '911' but the words died in his throat as he gazed down at her flushed cheeks. "What's up? If you'd wanted kinky mop and dust-pan sex, you could have paged me to the closet on our floor. I'm crippled you know. Don't want to use up all my energy walking to and from the elevator." He brushed the back of his fingertips over her exposed cheek.

Cameron closed her eyes at his gentle touch. Part of her wanted to laugh at his quip but another part wanted to burst into tears at the thought of that being the only reason she'd paged him. "I'm hiding." She mumbled, sounding like a defiant child refusing to crawl out from under the impossibly tiny space beneath the sofa.

"Yes." He drew out, his hand moving from her cheek to the clipboard pressed between her legs and body. She didn't resist him as he pulled it out. "Question is why." He scanned the patient history, his eyebrows raising and lowering in confusion as he took in the patients long list of hospital visits and the injuries that led to them. He threw Cameron another glance, wondering why this particular patient was causing her to rock slightly with her face now buried in her knees. "Standard case of abuse." He thought aloud as he returned to the history. "Patient is early thirties with hospital visits ranging back to childhood. Okay, so standard case of child abuse would have been more accurate."

Cameron sighed into her knees as she listened to House talk about the patient. "Yeah, I'd gotten that part." She spoke, though it was muffled and slightly forced.

House flipped the pages back to the cover sheet and browsed it absently for another few moments. "And the issue is? Says here she's only in for a pre-natal check up. I know your sensitive when it comes to babies and hospitals, but this is technically a 'pre-baby' and hospital scenario." He let the smile fade from his lips when he saw the side of Cameron's face contort in what appeared to be pain. "Alright, enough of this." He dropped the chart to the floor and grabbed the girls head in his hands and lifted it off her knees. "Talk to me Ducky."

As much as she hated her life right now, Cameron couldn't help but smile at the use of her nickname. Couldn't help but smile at the one man in her life who seemed genuinely eager, even prepared, for the long haul. She placed her smaller, more delicate hands on his wrists but did not attempt to move them from her face. She liked the feel of his skin on hers, especially when it occurred out of affection or concern and not just out of desire. "The patient's name."

"Is irrelevant in areas outside of Diagnostics too." He smiled at her sudden unrestrained laugh. The tension may have eased in her voice but her body still sat rigidly folded into itself. Her eyes unlocked on his and travelled towards the clipboard in front of them. House tilted his head curiously and removed a hand from Cameron's warm cheek to pull the clipboard towards him again. His eyes scanned the paper for a moment before growing wide in surprise. "Or maybe not so irrelevant." He let go of the clipboard for the second time and turned again towards Cameron. "I know Cameron is a common family name, but..."

Cameron nodded, her eyes searched her lovers face for a reaction. "Yeah, but unless there are more than one 33 year old Kathryn Faith Haught-Cameron living in New Jersey, that's my twin sister."

*****
Review's greatly appreciated! Sorry for the multiple x-posts.

frustration!!

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:51:29 GMT

I am 1/3 the way done with a giant awesome quilt.... and i can't find the same color yarn i need to continue the pattern! it's done in thirds and i finished the first third, but now can't find 3 of the colors i need for the rest! i think they are discontinued in stores.. i did find them on ebay but it'd cost me about 20 bucks to get them, and since they are only 2 dollars in stores, i'd rather pay 12 if i cant, or change teh pattern.

right now it's in vertical stripes:

dark brown
beige
dark brown
--
dark blue
grey
dark blue
--
light brown
beige
light brown
--
light blue
grey
light blue
--

thats the first third. and it's finished. i wanted to do that sequence two more times but the colors i can't find are the dark brown, dark blue and light blue :( i have enough grey, beige and light brown to finish but eehh i don't really want to throw in new colors at this point.

i could potentially just have each third a differen't pattern but there aren't many dark colors in this yarn type (softee chunky by bernat) and i want a difference between the light colors on the inside and the two surrounding it.

le sigh!! what to do... what to do... im gonna go peruse the michaels up in patchogue to see what they have. if i can find at least 3 other dark colors that wouldn't totally thorw off the color scheme (brown and blue mostly) i might just give in and get them. if it's not possible ill hafta go with the ebay. i just hate buying yarn off ebay cause the colors on the photos they show don't rally match what i know teh color looks like so i hesitate they have labeled it wrong

anyway, that's an update.

chow ( i can't spell it in italian)

i gots more yarn!

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 16:52:20 GMT

I got the second skeins of my sweater yarn now. Woot! I had a 20% off all order coupon and they are only 1.99 to start with anyway. Hopefully i'll have enough now to finish the entire sweater and maybe have some left over to play with making something else to go with the winter theme. (ie hat, scarf, mittens, socks)

Also finally got the circular needle to do the neck of the scarf (despite pattern not explaining that part - um, help anyone?? im sure it's obvious but maybe it's not?)

http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/features/crafts/knitting/weasleysweatersin that is the pattern ... i understand all of it now, just not what to do with the neck that has been 'put on a holder or scrap yarn'

I also got the largest DPN's i could find at Michaels that weren't bamboo and therefor 9 dollars. Size 6... i really wanted 10 as that's what im using for the sweater (what the yarn calls for) but oh well.

Is it going to be really really hard to try and knit on thicker yarn that asks for a 10, on smaller needles (6)? I want to try to make some simple socks and don't know how well i'll like the circular needle, and i know i can at least DO DPN's as i've done it before (never finished)

Also, anyone had any luck on any sites buying needles and such in bulk? I might try ebay - it's so freaking expensive getting them at michaels, especially in big sizes that aren't plastic (hate plastic, why bother). I spent 22 bucks today and only 8 of that was on yarn... :<

Well, dad spent 22 as he gave me some to get the yarn as he wants me to finish the sweater (finish a project? *gasp*)

So it's almost 1pm, not sure what to do with myself. Ehh...

I want to be grrrrr

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 12:36:26 GMT

http://www.fabric.com/SearchResults2.aspx?Source=Header&SearchText=faux+fur&CategoryID=1d5f47dc-9991-4088-93f3-26a376046a5e

mid way down the page (if you make it viewable by 27 fabrics) you can see a lovely lime green and the black. The pile is really shaggy but who cares, the color is perfect! and price not half bad either...

What you guys think?

Off to DSS now!

J